As a sex and relationship expert I’m a big fan of whatever brings partners closer, maintains sparky connections and enhances pleasure sensations. Oral sex ticks all the boxes and has been cited by researchers as an important factor in creating higher levels of relationship satisfaction and keeping passion alive. So here’s the low-down on why it’s essential to get up close and personal with your partner’s nether regions.
Oral sex increases intimacy
Oral sex requires trust, vulnerability and an unspoken sense of acceptance from you both. Experiencing intimacy on this level does wonders for helping you feel connected and comfortable together in mind, body and soul.
You’ll enjoy more open communication
It’s a myth that you should know how to be a good lover and meet your partners’ needs without any guidance. Given the sensitivity of your sex organs with their tens of thousands of nerve endings and the fact that sexy sensations are so varied and individual, the best oral sex requires encouragement and direction. This is brilliant training! Vocalising your likes and preferences is beneficial for all areas of your relationship. An added dimension here is that your wants and needs can shift every time, so you learn flexibility and responsiveness in and out of the bedroom, making you better lovers and partners.
Putting each other first
There’s something very selfless in the act of giving oral pleasure while being truly open to receive can feel like an art in itself. Understanding what it means to take turns putting each other first and finding the joy in both roles is incredibly valuable for relationship resilience – if you can do this with your sex, it may be easier when life’s challenges call for a bit of give and take.
It’s a great confidence boost
Being so close to one another’s sexy parts and really enjoying it pushes body confidence sky high and releases the inhibitions that get in the way of surrendering to smouldering hot sex. Knowing that your partner finds every inch of your body and every drop of your juices tasty, tempting and irresistible will leave you glowing with sexual prowess and feeling fabulous about yourself.
You’ll love the feel good factor
An orgasmathon of oral sex stimulates positive brain chemicals that promote relaxation and stress-relief, partner bonding and satiation. All five senses – taste, touch, sight, smell and hearing – become activated, driving excitement through the roof. And including oral sex in foreplay can increase arousal, creating states of heightened physical awareness that last longer and encourage the gradual build up towards deep, intense orgasms that are far more satisfying than the wam-bam of linear, penetration focused intercourse.
Sugar and spice…
With the potential to be different every time, oral sex is perfect for fuelling fantasy and creativity in the bedroom. It encourages you to seek out all things nice – exploration and experimentation keeps sex deliciously naughty, exciting and fresh so you’re guaranteed to want to come back for more.
If this post has whet your appetite for more information, you’d like some tips on tantalising techniques or have a specific question about sex, love or relationships, drop me a line via our Ask a Sexpert service!